Missing
by Rose-chan-chan
Summary: Months of being apart bring Tezuka and Ryoma to doubt their relationship. Technically a songfic... but it's my first so its not really that great. Feel free to rip my story apart and digest it...I really do need some feed back.


Disclaimer: I cannot write actual stories

Disclaimer: I cannot write actual stories. I don't know why I'm posting this…oh yeah. This is my first songfic I've ever written, and it's sole purpose is to let those of you actual reading my stories know that I'm still alive. There was something else that I was supposed to put here but I don't want to say so I wont.

Tezuka: You'll get sued. You shouldn't be careless.

Ryoma: Mada mada dane.

Eiji: You just can't do that hoi hoi!

Oishi: If you don't put the actual disclaimer in terrible things will happen! People will sue you…and someone might even think that you own Prince of Tennis!

Syusuke: We wouldn't want that now would we?

Me: But I want Syusuke! And Tezuka. And Ryoma. And Eiji…why do you all have to be so beautiful?

Atobe: I will say the disclaimer for you. Be awed by my generosity.

Everyone: sweatdrops

Atobe: The author does not own the song (Evanescence's) or PuriTeni (aka Prince of Tennis aka PoT aka The Story About Atobe Keigo)

Ryoma: You wish this story was about you Monkey King!

Atobe: It is about me!

Tezuka: I let my guard down…

Eiji: Ochibi's so cute when he's angry nya!

Me: I'll just get on with the story now.

The song I'm using is by Evanescence. It's called Missing. Please feel free to leave comments about my writing…and please tell me if my author's note was too long. I'm sorry if this songfic is too short. I hope it's at least enough to let you know I'm still alive. Oh and I just copy pasted the lyrics from www . lyricsdomain . com

PuriTeniPuriTeniPuriTeniPuriTeniPuriTeniPuriTeniPuriTeniPuriTeniPuriTeniPuriTeni

please, please forgive me,  
but i won't be home again.

_Mitsu-kun…I just can't do this anymore. This won't work anymore. I'm sorry Buchou. I'm so sorry…Kunimitsu._

Softly, my first tears hit the hard wooden floor. I gazed upon the man I loved for what I thought would be the last time.

maybe someday you wake up,  
and, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:  
"isn't something missing?

_Ryoma! Please, amnesia shouldn't stop you. Nothing can stop you. Please Ryoma…wake up. I don't care what it takes…I'll buy you all the time you need. This arm is more than enough to do that…but nothing can replace you._

_Ryoma…my love._

The last thing Sanada saw on that field…was Tezuka mouthing Ryoma's name.

you won't cry for my absence, i know -  
you forgot me long ago.

_Kunimitsu…tell me_  
am i that unimportant...?

_Ryoma…tell me_

am i so insignificant...?

isn't something missing?  
isn't someone missing me?

_I'll do whatever it takes…to be with you. But right now…with you away. I feel as if a half of me is missing. I miss you Buchou. I'll miss you for the rest of my life._

even though i'm the sacrifice,  
you won't try for me, not now.

_I suppose Germany is too far away. Too far… too far away from you Ryoma. I'll miss you…I'll be missing you. But this time is my sacrifice…to be able to play tennis with you again. To be able to play tennis, the thing I love the most, with the one I love the most. I love you Ryoma._

And with those final words, Tezuka's plane took off.

though i'd die to know you love me,  
i'm all alone.  
isn't someone missing me?

_It's cold out without Kunimitsu's arms around me. It's cold without his jersey being thrown at my head. It feels wrong. It feels so different. I miss you Buchou. Without you here, without my emotionless stone to pin me to the ground…I'm just another leaf being blown away by the summer breeze._

That was the first time Kikumaru was able to catch Ryoma unguarded…

That was the first time Kikumaru successfully glomped Ryoma in public…

That was the first time Kikumaru saw Echizen just shrug it off…

That was the first time Kikumaru understood just what love was like…

please, please forgive me,  
but i won't be home again.  
i know what you do to yourself,

_It should be a sin for me to enjoy Germany so much. It should be a sin for me to want to stay here. It should be a sin for me to smile like this. I should be crying…so why won't the tears come? What isn't enough?_

A razor slashed across his wrist. The blood looked so welcoming…it felt so good. Tezuka had never known…how good it felt…how good it felt to finally cry.

_I love you Ryoma…_

I breathe deep and cry out:  
"isn't something missing?  
isn't someone missing me?"

_Tezuka…I'll play this match for you. I'll use everything I have. I owe this match to you. I will defeat him. I will be Seigaku's pillar… I have to become Seigaku's pillar…I have to take Seigaku away from you…so you won't hurt your arm anymore._

Echizen, Game and Match! Six games to Love!

even though i'd be sacrificed,  
you won't try for me, not now.

_Why would you want someone incapable of expressing themselves? Why would something so pure want something so tainted? Ryoma…why would someone like you want something like me? _

A perfect line of scars danced upon his wrist. Tezuka's once perfect skin shone even more perfectly, even more gloriously, to contrast against the scars even more.

Though I'd die to know you love me,  
I'm all alone.  
Isn't someone missing me?

_What will it take to bring you back Kunimitsu? What will it take to reunite these ribbons of red? What will it take to tie these knots of white? What will it take to wash out the black that stains the two? What will I have to do, to be able to rest within your arms again? What will it take to call someone as perfect as you, mine?_

More tears dripped down his cheeks. A Seigaku jersey sopped up the salty tears. The name tag read Tezuka Kunimitsu.

And if i bleed, I'll bleed,  
knowing you don't care.

_I was never perfect. I could never be perfect. I could never achieve what you had done. Why would you care now? Why would care about what I do to myself now? Ryoma…why. Why?_

The white hospital sheets wore ribbons of red all over. A razor was removed under the pillow. The blades met with Tezuka's arms again. Just to feel emotion…just to become something closer to human…

And if i sleep just to dream of you  
and wake without you there,  
isn't something missing?  
Isn't something...

_The rain fell hard. His arms kept me warm then. Now…those arms are non-existent…maybe dreams don't come true after all. Kunimitsu… please come back to me._

Ryoma was seen standing in the rain. The racket in his hard was gripped ten times harder than usual. Momoshiro stood under an umbrella, complaining about Echizen's training habits. Either Ryoma really was taking after Tezuka…or he couldn't hear anyone…anymore.

even though I'd be sacrificed,  
you won't try for me, not now.  
Though I'd die to know you love me,  
I'm all alone.

_These tainted scars won't heal! Most of them will fade, but the wrist is just too far away. Maybe Inui's wristbands can cover them…but it doesn't really matter. There's no way Ryoma would want me now. In fact he's probably dating someone else right now. And everyone else probably is too…I feel so different again. I feel lonely…wait…I feel. I feel. _

The razor lay unused once again, but it had already done its job, and one long scar ran around Tezuka's whole wrist.

Isn't something missing?

_What's wrong. What happened? What happened to the love we used to share/ Is it gone now? Please Buchou, please come home. Please come back. Please tell me you love me. I need to hear those words. I need to hear your voice once again. Please…Please…I feel as though a part of me is missing. I need you back again._

Half-heartedly, walked into the club room. Half-heartedly, he waited for Oishi to name Momoshiro as vice captain. Half-heartedly, I stared at the doorway…foolishly hoping for my dreams to finally to come true. Foolishly hoping for the millionth time in my life. Foolishly hoping for the last time in my life.

Isn't someone missing me?

_What happened to us? Where is everyone now? I'm coming back…for the one I love the most…please tell me what happened to him? Ryoma…my love…wait for me. I need to see your smile. I need the golden sun in my life again. I need you orbs of life to cleanse the tainted ribbons of red off of me. I've lost a part of me without you. I'm missing a part of me. I'm missing you Ryoma. I'm missing you._

A stoic captain walked into the room. He raised his hands and clapped. "Congratulations Momoshiro. Now please welcome your new captain…Echizen Ryoma."

Two ribbons finally dried off. Two ribbons finally cleaned off the tainted misery they had felt for so long. Two ribbons, joined together for the first time in years. Two ribbons exchanged vows…Two ribbons that fit together perfectly. Two ribbons, two pieces, two parts of a person. The missing part of a love so strong…

So strong…

It will never be lost.

It was missing…but not lost.

Just missing…


End file.
